Posts

Cinta Fasad

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10 May 2024 - Catatan sanubari; Cinta fasad. 7 tahun dalam alam percintaan bersama insan yang kau anggap istimewa dalam hidup hanyalah fasad cinta dan realiti yang beliau tunjukkan.  Begitulah kisah aku.  Remuk nya hati ini mengetahui kebenaran. Namun mungkinkah lebih baik mengetahui isi hati sebenar dari terus di sembunyikan dari pengetahuan. Aku mengetahui dari akaun Thread beliau di mana beliau menyatakan isi hati sebenar terhadap aku. Tuhan sahaja yang mengetahui betapa pedih nya perasaan saat itu.  Belum aku beri tahu perihal ini, bahwa aku sudah mengetahui hal ini. Mungkin aku takut akan kesudahan nya nanti. Hati ini belum bersedia. Jadi aku rentetkan di sini. Cinta kepada ku, kau kata bukan lah seperti cinta pandang pertama mahupun cinta yang automatis terlahir dari hati kau. Cinta kepada ku hanyalah cinta usaha yang kau cuba lahir kan.  Mungkin kerana itu, aku tidak dapat merasai tulus nya cinta mu. Semakin pudar cinta mu itu aku rasakan seiring dengan masa. Mungkin jantung kau

Random Thoughts on Tuesday Night

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Happiness - My happiness been draining since this past few months. Everyday, just do nothing and wait to sleep. Listening to the song every moment. Lying on a cold floor wait to be decay. Instagram - I've decided to disable my Instagram for a moment as I want to take a break from social media. It is not easy but trying hard not to open it again. Somebody around me - Although I have everyone around me, but all I want is to be alone and be free.My family have their own problem with everyone being egoist and I'm just too good to dodge it all.  Friends, who until when will stay with me. The love who is far away, torture the very own heart. Life - I didn't know until when I would live, but sometimes I think it would be faster to die.At this moment, life feel meaningless. Enjoy - I'm not enjoying every little things I did and I don't bother to find something to do. I wonder how someone can live the way they want. What are their secret. Communication - I am not

LOVE LIFE

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Hi and good evening. Everyone has their  own love life. I dreamed of so many love story that I would like it to happen. But, life just isn't beautiful as we imagined. Thorns, disappointment, heart break and others. When you enter the love life, you have to get ready for all. Love life isn't beautiful story, it just for a moment you feel it's worth it and the other moment you feel like why it happen, you questioning. For me, once I really like someone, I do love a lot. I miss, I want the presence, the attention and everything about the person I love. Back in years before, I'm not into love yet, but I do couple up with some people and playing around. Maybe karma hits me now. Putting me into those shoes. Now, I really understands. If you don't like then just said so. There is no definition of trying. Heart isn't the puppet that you can control. But it's like black wild horse who wander around where he likes. For now, I do in love with s

My one friend

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Hello again readers. People comes and goes just like that. Right? Who are we to deny the path they've taken. I know I'm not a good friend though, I'm still value our time together especially in our diploma. Oh, I love those moment. You are a good friend of mine who I idolized. I want to compete with you. I make you as my rival. You know, that I want to be like you. You seems so manageable, diligent, know where you should go and know what you should do to achieve your goal, so unlike me. Actually, I'm jealous when you close to others because I'm afraid that I will lose my best friend just like that. Now, maybe I've lost you. We don't talk much lately in this one year or two. It's not your fault. It's mine for not remember that you have your own life and I have my own legs. I need to be independent and stop depend on someone. I'm so weak.

Many things happened.

Hello to whoever reading this small blogging channel. Yet I'm here after been so long taking an hiatus. A lot of things have happen to me. Some things have changed some things that I have been going through. All that matters as I take it as experienced to be a person. Great things that I just finish my Bachelor of Computer Science, majoring Software Engineering and now starting my career. That's another story. Bad things is, so far my life have been so confusing. I have family, I have friends, I have someone that I love, I have job, but the things is my heart just empty, lonely and yet I don't know what I should be doing. I know, life isn't much and didn't expect to be long but at least I wanted to know clearly where I'm going, know what I'm going to do. I didn't hope much. But I hope you there, still with me. Thank you.

My Favourite Instagram.

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These are the list of my favourite instagram that belongs to my friends. Their artwork, editng and skill of photography really amazed me. I really envy them. 3.1df The fan of b1a4 and she was really creative. Good at minimalist photography. Always know what she should do. Envy her. dunialensakupro You can book them for wedding picture. Really nice. hikayat_lensa The talented photographer.  alihandrocool Don't judge by look. There is a hidden talent hid in his life. I don't really know he was so good. Look at his artwork. I couldn't compare myself to him. fitri_cinonet Meet him in the club of Felda (PERSADA) which the son of Felda that studying in college or unversiti. Looking at his instagram, realize that he really have a passion in photography. nrlkhalidah This talented young lady. I meet her in high school which she become my "adik angkat". Hahaha. Really talented. I hope she have enjoying her life fully. 

GIVE UP

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Give up. Tajuk give up hari ni adalah give up dengan manusia. Ye, give up dengan manusia. There is a time when we were tired of doing good at these people, we will give up on them. Dan aku adalah salah seorang yang dah give up dengan certain orang ni.  They were not bad on me, just their attitude that make me sick of it. The attitude they show to me when dealing with the people around. Antara nya : Bad temper. This seriously fucking bad, especially when you were acting like fucking cool when you are angry or making people scared of you. Yeah, i'm really scared of you until i feel what the fucking you've been possessed. You are not what i really know you. You were change so much since our childhood.  Bad mouth. Waaaa, i feel like want to cut your tongue until you cannot speak again. Memburukan orang lain atau melaga-lagakan orang lain. There is some cousin of mine like that. So, what i do when meet them, just ignore them. Acting like nice but inside, like errr.  St