Random Thoughts on Tuesday Night

By Muhamad Aizuddin - November 12, 2019

Happiness - My happiness been draining since this past few months. Everyday, just do nothing and wait to sleep. Listening to the song every moment. Lying on a cold floor wait to be decay.

Instagram - I've decided to disable my Instagram for a moment as I want to take a break from social media. It is not easy but trying hard not to open it again.

Somebody around me - Although I have everyone around me, but all I want is to be alone and be free.My family have their own problem with everyone being egoist and I'm just too good to dodge it all.  Friends, who until when will stay with me. The love who is far away, torture the very own heart.

Life - I didn't know until when I would live, but sometimes I think it would be faster to die.At this moment, life feel meaningless.

Enjoy - I'm not enjoying every little things I did and I don't bother to find something to do.

I wonder how someone can live the way they want. What are their secret.

Communication - I am not good at communicate to others. It always been my weakness. I didn't get to express myself regularly. Moreover, my voice is very slow and not very clear. I tend to speak faster and does not have confidence in what I say. I am not a story teller. All of this makes others hard to listen to me. That's why I always decide to just follow what others want me to do and being good at listening. Nowadays, this is all doesn't bother me anymore as I'm giving up at expressing myself.

Will my heart someday will be empty as an empty jar?

Will I get to live with who I love?

Death is painful and I don't really think I will voluntarily do that. So, do not worry.

I'm just bullshitting random thought on this Tuesday night.

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